Dementia Diary: A Personal and Professional Journal (Personal Narratives)

Mother had aged well until age 84. She had managed the slow and difficult death of her husband from cancer and continued to enjoy her friends, her church, her house, and her neighbors. But she was becoming afraid to drive, her formerly large social network was shrinking, and she was increasingly needing our support. Although other living situations were available near her home, she was unenthusiastic and would still be five hours away from us. It seemed better for her to move nearer to us, but she wanted to do so only if we lived together. We jointly bought and renovated a house. It allowed my mother-in-law a separate suite, but we shared the kitchen and meals. Part of the sadness of the story that follows is that the woman in its pages is not the person she once was. Mother was tiny, fastidious, and an elegant dresser. She had been a talented organizer, blessed with financial acumen and the precision of an accountant, and a stalwart community leader--Parent Teachers Association, school board, the Public Health Commission, and, especially her church. She was a good Episcopalian, who, after years of protest, graciously acknowledged that she had changed her mind about women clergy when she met one whom she liked and respected.