A Nation Neglectful of the Elderly

I never meant to be stuck in a one-bedroom flat. God! I hate it. What have I done wrong?
I know the state does a lot of harm, but I don’t want to hear it. It doesn’t do a bit of good. People don’t want to be bothered....
Of course, they don’t know. It isn’t any benefit to them. Anything that isn’t benefit to them, they don’t want it. It’s rubbish.
I thought you’d know that. I don’t like being without you. I hate it; I have nobody, because you’re my best relative, and I can’t do without you. I can’t be left like that, in a blooming old egg-shell. It’s awful. It’s poverty hall. Retirement, like this, without any relative. My life is nothing without you, and seeing you, and being in a home with you...
What am I going to do? I’m by myself. It’ll drive me insane. I’m locked up in here. I’m not free and you are...
Every morning, I get up, and walk about in that room, and I don’t know anyone. I’m stuck in this room. Take me wet things and clothes off… I’m just a prisoner in my own skin. I don’t know how I got like this.…
And I have nobody tonight, and nobody tomorrow. What the hell am I here for? What do I do? I have to go to bed and sleep, and all this trouble. I have nobody. It’s terrible, you haven’t the slightest idea of what it’s like to be like that. It’s terrible. I’m stuck in this room, and not knowing who’s going to knock. I don’t know nobody. I’ve nobody to help me. You’re never here. I can’t get there.
[It’s not my doing, but the state.]
I don’t want to listen to that. I know all that. (They know.) My life is hell and I’m 90 odd. I’m old and my life is horrible. I keep quiet, just for the peace of it, but it’s horrible. And I’d be with you, if they’d let me:
Have her where she is, as long as she’s quiet and doesn’t make a noise. Let her stick in it. That’s putting it plainly.…
Are you there, sweetie? My lovely lad, why can’t we be together? I can’t live like this. You wouldn’t like it –
I would hate it. Don’t go on about it, because it’s not making it any better.
It’s so lonely. What am I to do? And I can’t do it, any more. I’m too old. I can’t do it; it’s taking a toll on my life. I can’t do it.…
Aye, it’s horrible. I lie on the bed, all night. It’s horrible. It makes me feel like a fool. I’m in a cold room, and I have nobody, and you’ve disappeared from my life completely. I haven’t got anything… Stuck in four walls….It’s frightening. It’s wicked. I’ve nobody, and you never come. You could be with me. I’m frightened and I’ve nobody to talk to. It’s rubbish.
I’m thinking of doing myself in, because it would be easier. It would be better than living on my own, like this. How do you think I manage?
I hope you never have, because, believe you me, it’s terrible.
My lips are red-hot; my mouth is hot, and I’m not well at all; it’s horrible. I don’t know what to do. And I don’t want to be here. I’m stuck here, and you never give it a thought.…
[I think about you every day… I would get you out, if they let me…]
I know all that rubbish – it’s kindness of heart, and love for me, but it doesn’t do any good. It’s hopeless. Nobody bothers with me. I’m in four walls, and I don’t have anybody. I think it’s wicked; think it’s horrible. How can anybody do that? I’ve thought of suicide. No wonder people take that… There’s nothing else, because you don’t know what to do about it.
My lips are on fire; my mouth’s on fire. What can I do? Suppose I’ll have to do something.
Got a visitor.
(Ella polite:) Thanks, love. Take care, love.
Some pills, and no good. – Been on 'em for years, and don’t make a scrap of difference. I’m going to be choked on them. -- Just been, and talked about, in years to come; an example… Nobody knows what the future will be. They’ve made some good guesses, tho.… My legs are red-hot. It’s stress. You can’t shift that. It’s very cruel.…
Oh my sweetie, 12 or 13 hours in a room by myself,.. and locked up…
It’s a horrible place to live. How did I get here? I’ve nobody, no sweet-heart; no Richie – nothing.