How to M********e Properly

Masturbation gave birth to a prophet. His name is Turbo Masturbo and he will teach you how to m********e properly. He can come fast, any time, any place. Turbo got his superpowers by accident. It was a divine event: A higher force approached him and gave him a hundred Masturbation Commandments so he could announce them to the world. “After reading this, every man will appreciate his hands more than any vagina.” - Loony, author of Sex Deaths; Is She Faking?; Sex Jokes “Turbo Masturbo says every man with hands is self-sufficient. It seems like somebody is pussy deprived.” - Madame Magdalena, author of “How to Snag That Millionaire When You Are Not the Prettiest Girl in the Room”